by RILEY MILLER

Black President and all, the US looks to boycott a UN conference on racism.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7916191.stm

Hugo Chavez “couldn’t care less if he meets this Obama of there’s.” And as to human rights, countries should mind their own business. But his cartels will be pretty angry about all five tons of their Venezalian coke, worth nearly $500 million, getting seized this week.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7916115.stm

China’s richest man’s monolith was scaled by a Frenchman who says the world will end in 100 months.
http://www.iht.com/articles/2009/02/17/arts/peepwed.php

The “Slumdog” kids actually were plucked up slum dogs.
http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2009/02/17/arts/AS-MOV-India-Slumdog-Kids.php

In an interesting and Indian-angry contrast, Ghandi’s possessions were sold for $1.8 million to the guy who makes Kingfisher beer.
http://www.iht.com/articles/2009/03/06/america/gandhi.php

Obama even used a teleprompter to speak to a Caterpillar plant in Peoria, Illinois.
http://www.iht.com/articles/2009/03/05/america/prompt.php

Need some oomph to your Yoko-harpeeing, get a Masters in “The Beatles” from the University of Liverpool.
http://www.iht.com/articles/2009/03/04/arts/peepthu.php

A one-eyed Canadian documentary film maker about to receive a prosthetic eye camera wants to make sure everyone knows he plans to shut it off when he goes into the locker room.
http://www.eyeborgblog.com/

A four year old boy won a Taiwanese island in a lottery.
http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSTRE5244OE20090305

Des Moines, Iowa isn’t allowed to use the acronym DOA for their Department of Elder Affairs.
http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSTRE5244MY20090305

Cha Sassoon, for the 774th time in the last 4 years, and at $8 a try, flunked the driving test.
http://www.reuters.com/news/video?videoId=99845&videoChannel=4

The president of the Bolivia’s Bowling Federation wants to bring up an entire generation of two-handed tossers.
http://www.reuters.com/news/video?videoId=99817&videoChannel=72

Who’s the ill-est god around? North Korea’s Kim Jong-il is smoking again on state television, six months after a stroke.

This has been a month or so in review with Ethos R. Newsworthy

by RILEY MILLER

Since we last saw one another:

A 38 YEAR OLD RICH BOY, NEWLY SUSPECT TO FRAUD CHARGES AND FACING A DIVORCE, set his plane to auto-pilot, parachuted into Alabama, encountered the police wet up to his knees, said he’d been in a canoeing accident, was escorted to a hotel, fled the seen on motor cycle to a camping site, took blood thinners, shot off some emails, was “Internet-tracked” and found alive in a pool of blood, and was arrested in Florida.

OBESE AMERICANS now out weigh the merely overweight.

THIRSTY NEW DEHLIAN COW PEE CONNOISSEURS requested government approval to market and sell the substance as a cure for between 70-80% of diseases.

IN ORDER, TAMPA, SEATTLE, AND CHICAGO were named last years most caffeinated cities.

PERU’S TOP COURT had ruled that workers cannot be fired for being drunk on the job.

Unfortunately, Read the rest of this entry »

by RILEY MILLER

ASHTON KUTCHER-SAVVY REPUBLICAN, Ms. Ros-Lehtinen, Senior-most member of the Foreign Relations Committee, hung up on Pres. elect Obama three times in a week this month, determined to assure that, “I won’t be punk’d like that Sarah Palin was punk’d by French Pres. Nicolas Sarkozy a Florida radio station.”

150 WHALES WERE DASHED ON ROCKS off Tasmania’s Coast. In all seriousness, global warming and an increase in human beach noises were alleged suspects in the slayings.

HEAD OF THE RUSSIAN Orthodox Church, reviver of God-dry Communist USSR, and mender of a major Orthodox schism, Patriarch Alexiy II, died.

CONDI RICE FULFILLED HER DREAM by playing piano for the Queen of England. It was announced Hillary will take her job soon and hopes to top the feat and her husband by playing two interns while balancing on a piano and posturing for control of the universe. Read the rest of this entry »

by RILEY MILLER

BLACK TIED & DOUBLING GOLDEN REVOLVERS crisscrossed their chest, the armed offenders squad of Australia’s Victorian district were replaced this week due to a “disproportionate number” of complaints involving excessive force against these Reservoir Aussie Dog imitators.

STEVE FOSSET, Eagle Scout, millionaire, and multi-world record holder–most notably for the first non-stop flight around the world in a balloon–was confirmed dead last week through DNA tests on his year old, animal ravaged remains.

A NEW BOND FILM, Quantum of Solace grossed more than Harry Potter ever did this week in James’ Britain. The spy guy will appear on American screens come November 14th.

A PULITZER PRIZE SPIDER MAN-4. Say what? The winning playwright, David Lindsay-Abaire, is in final negotiations to write for Columbia. Read the rest of this entry »

Editors note: The Ethos R. Newsworthy column, penned by Into the Hill Senior Contributing Writer, Mr. Riley Miller, but under the uber-appropriate pseudonym Ethos R. Newsworthy, will be a sometimes serious, sometimes satirical examination of the important pieces of news and information that dominate the artistic world. We are all consumers each day of vast amounts of information and knowledge, some worthwhile, much of it not. It is up to each of us, in our own way, to learn discernment and discretion when wading through the mire of modern (and yes, postmodern) culture. We invite you to join Mr. Miller as he explores what it means to be discerning - while still attempting, or failing, to be hip.

The following is Mr. Miller’s introductory column.
Read the rest of this entry »