by RILEY MILLER

ASHTON KUTCHER-SAVVY REPUBLICAN, Ms. Ros-Lehtinen, Senior-most member of the Foreign Relations Committee, hung up on Pres. elect Obama three times in a week this month, determined to assure that, “I won’t be punk’d like that Sarah Palin was punk’d by French Pres. Nicolas Sarkozy a Florida radio station.”

150 WHALES WERE DASHED ON ROCKS off Tasmania’s Coast. In all seriousness, global warming and an increase in human beach noises were alleged suspects in the slayings.

HEAD OF THE RUSSIAN Orthodox Church, reviver of God-dry Communist USSR, and mender of a major Orthodox schism, Patriarch Alexiy II, died.

CONDI RICE FULFILLED HER DREAM by playing piano for the Queen of England. It was announced Hillary will take her job soon and hopes to top the feat and her husband by playing two interns while balancing on a piano and posturing for control of the universe. Read the rest of this entry »

by RILEY MILLER

BLACK TIED & DOUBLING GOLDEN REVOLVERS crisscrossed their chest, the armed offenders squad of Australia’s Victorian district were replaced this week due to a “disproportionate number” of complaints involving excessive force against these Reservoir Aussie Dog imitators.

STEVE FOSSET, Eagle Scout, millionaire, and multi-world record holder–most notably for the first non-stop flight around the world in a balloon–was confirmed dead last week through DNA tests on his year old, animal ravaged remains.

A NEW BOND FILM, Quantum of Solace grossed more than Harry Potter ever did this week in James’ Britain. The spy guy will appear on American screens come November 14th.

A PULITZER PRIZE SPIDER MAN-4. Say what? The winning playwright, David Lindsay-Abaire, is in final negotiations to write for Columbia. Read the rest of this entry »

Editors note: The Ethos R. Newsworthy column, penned by Into the Hill Senior Contributing Writer, Mr. Riley Miller, but under the uber-appropriate pseudonym Ethos R. Newsworthy, will be a sometimes serious, sometimes satirical examination of the important pieces of news and information that dominate the artistic world. We are all consumers each day of vast amounts of information and knowledge, some worthwhile, much of it not. It is up to each of us, in our own way, to learn discernment and discretion when wading through the mire of modern (and yes, postmodern) culture. We invite you to join Mr. Miller as he explores what it means to be discerning - while still attempting, or failing, to be hip.

The following is Mr. Miller’s introductory column.
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